Thursday, October 10, 2013


It has been a long time since I believed in myself, especially with all the sad things that have happened to me. It is sometimes very difficult to find happiness and believe in myself with having a chronic illness. Well, doesn’t that make much sense? Depression and low self-esteem is hard to get a grip on with so much which seemed to just go wrong. Also, thinking someone can handle the chronic illness and then well, there that person goes running, is very hurtful and sometimes devastating. It’s been completely heartbreaking. I can’t seem to find anyone to handle me having MS. Three relationships promised, but in the end promises weren’t kept.

I have to leave it all behind me and move forward. When it fell apart, life didn’t end, it just got better. When things in life fall apart, lives don’t end, we become stronger in the end. Maybe at the time things fell apart, it might have felt like life did end. But we are still alive, right? Sure, we are and we’ll continue rocking out our lives! 

How do we continue when everything has been lost and promises were broken? Time heals all wounds? Not necessarily, time does help but we heal because we’re resilient and we become stronger, lesson learned, and we pick up ourselves to move forward. Support system is probably the most important way to heal and as time moves on, we heal, better than ever.

Recently, I thought I had found the one and it was wonderful and beautiful. He claimed strength and that I was stuck with him. Where is he now? Gone. How long did it last? From June until August 20th. Well, that was quick! Ha What am I doing? I’m moving forward because I’m in control of my life, not him or anyone else. We look within ourselves and we’ll find more than we could ever expect. We’re strong! It’s hard to find someone who can handle chronic illness, but somewhere out there, I still have hope. I just won’t give up on myself, my life, or possible a happy, healthy relationship.
I wish you all the very best with overcoming and finding yourself after heartbreak and loss!!

Friday, October 4, 2013


My October Loneliness 

Feeling more alone in her room as she watches another commercial, How sweet these couples are advertising items supposedly special For the one you love to celebrate with on another Valentine’s Day. Who really needs all the chocolate or a huge, expensive bouquet? Her memories flash back to the previous year when she was happy, And married to the one who was going to love her forever, so faithfully; She thought her life was like a dream, she is now becoming very sad.

Missing what her life once was, realizing how she misses all that she had, Knowing what she lost is now forever gone, she must move forward; Thinking about her broken feelings, all she can think about is feeling adored. She goes online to create profile, hoping she will meet a friend on the site, Becoming...