My October Loneliness Feeling more alone in her room as she watches another commercial, How sweet these couples are advertising items supposedly special For the one you love to celebrate with on another Valentine’s Day. Who really needs all the chocolate or a huge, expensive bouquet? Her memories flash back to the previous year when she was happy, And married to the one who was going to love her forever, so faithfully; She thought her life was like a dream, she is now becoming very sad.
Missing what her life once was, realizing how she misses all that she had, Knowing what she lost is now forever gone, she must move forward; Thinking about her broken feelings, all she can think about is feeling adored. She goes online to create profile, hoping she will meet a friend on the site, Becoming...
...surprised by the responses, she begins to talk to a man that night. Amazed at how easily the two of them talked, understanding each other’s pain, Days going by, they continue talking to another feeling they have much to gain. After a week of talking, the two decided they had to meet each other in person, Spending time together, dining out, watching movies, they were having much fun. Soon, the two have become seriously involved with one another, she falls deep. He is now invading her life, controlling decisions, her every move, even her sleep; Nothing she says can make him understand that who he is becoming is very wrong. She explains this is not the way a person lives their life, while he insists they belong To one another, and he has the right to know her every move throughout the day. She tells him she cannot continue being with him if he continues to act this way; He must realize his controlling ways and change, or she will end their life together. He apologizes, promises that he will change, and the two of them will remain forever. She gives him another chance and meets him that night, he then displays his violent side, Almost hurting her, she becomes afraid of him seeing how dangerous and that he has lied. Feeling helpless with him in front of her, he begins to back away and cries he did not mean to Both weeping, he turns to walk away leaving her there while she cries out, how could you? .
February 2009, after losing my husband to divorce of being together right at five years and being completely devastated by the shock of reality, I became so very lonely and the pain was almost too much to handle. We weren’t having any problems, so the divorce took me completely by surprise. The Valentine’s commercials were hurting me even more. I decided to go online and create a profile on a dating website. I knew that someone out there was hurting just like me. I found him, that very night.
I soon began talking to a man who was lost as I was, who felt the pain that I felt. We fall for each other, someway of lust over love. We began seeing each other often and soon talked of moving in together. Nothing we planned ever seemed to work out for us. Our families were against our relationship. Distance of 126 miles also played a part in our deciding where we should live. We couldn’t agree on much and time soon decided that we couldn’t be as happy together as we thought. We would separate after fights, exchange nasty words, and there was even physical violence. We brought out the worst in each other, but still we couldn’t stay away from each other. It was if we were addicted to each other then we both would become toxic from each other. It was almost deadly at times.
June 1, 2013, I had enough and we separated for the final time. There was no going back after this time. I was scared but I knew I couldn’t continue living this way. I just hope my MS would behave better! Don’t we all wish that??
~ Katrina A. Taylor
